{"id":965,"date":"2010-06-17T22:49:22","date_gmt":"2010-06-17T22:49:22","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.qwocboston.org\/?p=965"},"modified":"2010-06-17T22:49:22","modified_gmt":"2010-06-17T22:49:22","slug":"erikas-blog-damn-it-feels-good-to-be-me-qwoc-pride","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/test.qwoc.org\/?p=965","title":{"rendered":"Damn, It Feels Good to Be Me \u2014 QWOC Pride"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"size-medium wp-image-976 alignright\" style=\"border: 10px solid white;\" title=\"Black Superwoman\" src=\"http:\/\/www.proxy.qwocboston.org\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/06\/superwoman_21-234x300.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"234\" height=\"300\" \/>In the short blurb beneath my Facebook profile picture, I have a line quoted from Tracy Chapman\u2019s song, \u201cFast Car.\u201d It reads: \u201cMe,myself, I got nothing to prove.\u201d I chose the line because it embodies how I know I want to feel all the time \u2013 like myself. I want to feel as if I can always just be me, regardless of anyone else\u2019s standards or expectations.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Unfortunately, the truth of the matter, of course, is that I don\u2019t always feel that way. In fact, most of the time, I\u2019m fighting to prove to other people that I have nothing to prove,<\/strong> whether it\u2019s in defense of my race, my sexuality, or my endless love for Sailor Moon.  And, after a while, it becomes less of a fight to prove I have nothing to prove and more of just a fight \u2013 period. In my desire to be free and limitless, I become limited \u2013 because I\u2019m always on defense. I\u2019m always finding some news article that proves my theory of why people in general tend to suck. I\u2019m always anticipating an offensive comment or action to counter -comment on or take action against. I can write ten different blogs about how, basically, we have the right to be who we are and how anyone who disagrees can just shove it.<\/p>\n<p>But, at what point do we get to stop defending our right to be ourselves, and start enjoying our right to be ourselves? At one point do I stop proving to people that I love who I am and start actually <em>experiencing <\/em>that love?<\/p>\n<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignleft size-medium wp-image-972\" style=\"border: 10px solid white;\" title=\"Self Love\" src=\"http:\/\/www.proxy.qwocboston.org\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/06\/self-love31-300x290.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"240\" height=\"232\" \/><\/p>\n<p><strong>Well, pride was a good time to start &#8212; I remembered how much I love being a queer woman of color. <\/strong>I love being me and I love living my life. That\u2019s why I fight for the right to live it. When someone asks me about my love life or what I did Saturday night and they seem generally unfazed by my lovely queerness, I\u2019m not psyched because they\u2019re &#8220;political allies&#8221; and they may, in some small way, understand my struggle \u2013 although that is a bonus. I\u2019m excited because I get to talk about the beautiful woman I met or tell them about the cute old couple I saw dancing their asses off at a queer party I went to. I\u2019m excited because, when you love something, you can\u2019t help but talk about it, and, when they ask, I get to talk about who I am and what I\u2019m doing with my life. I get to feel like a whole person, who has activities, and knows people.<\/p>\n<p><strong>I know we\u2019re all out here fighting for something or being a part of some struggle, even if the struggle isn\u2019t visible to everyone.<\/strong> But as you sweat, bleed, cry, and crawl \u2013 as you go through your day to day life, shoving roadblocks out of the way and forging your own path \u2013 remember what you\u2019re doing it for. We\u2019re not doing it for some vague sense of accomplishment, or community, or even \u201cequality.\u201d Remember, we\u2019re fighting because we love what we\u2019re fighting for &#8212; ourselves.<\/p>\n<p>I think there\u2019s a misconception, sometimes, about racial and sexual minorities. Even the most well-meaning ally can mistakenly assume that, in a perfect world, we wish we could be straight and white too and, since we\u2019re not, we\u2019re fighting to at least have the same benefits. We\u2019re \u201cworking with what we were given.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Truly, there are some people for which that statement is true. But make no mistake \u2013 it does not suck to be a minority in any sense of the word. It sucks to be treated as if you were \u201cless than\u201d and it sucks that, often times, the minority status is what leads to this sort of treatment.  But I love being black. I love being gay. I love women and I love loving women.<\/p>\n<p><strong><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignleft size-medium wp-image-987\" style=\"border: 10px solid white;\" title=\"This is What Diversity Looks Like\" src=\"http:\/\/www.qwocboston.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/06\/IMG_0057-300x225.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"270\" height=\"203\" \/>For those of you who missed PRIDE last week, particularly OPTIONZ and ROOTS<\/strong> <strong>\u2013 I\u2019ll let it slide this\u00a0once. <\/strong>You were busy, your Aunt Sally from Nova Scotia came to town, you were hiding from the IRS \u2013 I get it. But next time, if you get the chance, come out. (Literally.) There is no feeling more beautiful than realizing how happy you are with yourself and when I was out there on the dance floor with so many queer people of color \u2013 people like myself and yet so diverse and multifaceted  &#8211; I felt truly, genuinely happy.  When I go out with the QWOC+ organizers and volunteers or with my close friends and we get to laugh and talk loudly about queer things \u2013 because we are queer \u2013 and laugh and talk loudly about our cultures \u2013 because these are our cultures \u2013 I\u2019m happy.<\/p>\n<p><strong>This week, when you\u2019re out there fighting the man, your boss, your Evangelist grandparents, or your best-but-still-frustratingly-offensive friends, remember to take a break, take a breath, and recognize: \u201cDamn, it feels good to be me.\u201d Because if you don\u2019t \u2013 well then what are you fighting for?<\/strong><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>I know we\u2019re all out here fighting for something or being a part of some struggle, even if the struggle isn\u2019t visible to everyone. But as you sweat, bleed, cry, and crawl \u2013 as you go through your day to day life, shoving roadblocks out of the way and forging your own path \u2013 remember what you\u2019re doing it for. We\u2019re not doing it for some vague sense of accomplishment, or community, or even \u201cequality.\u201d We\u2019re fighting because we love what we\u2019re fighting for.  &hellip;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":8,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[52],"tags":[228,394,480,601,641,690,747,766,791,800,808,830,838,851,885],"class_list":["post-965","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-queer-women-of-color-pride","tag-black-people","tag-erika-turner","tag-happy","tag-lesbian","tag-lgbtq","tag-minorities","tag-optionz","tag-people-of-color","tag-pride","tag-proud","tag-queer","tag-queer-women-of-color","tag-qwoc","tag-qwoc-boston","tag-roots"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/test.qwoc.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/965","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/test.qwoc.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/test.qwoc.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/test.qwoc.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/8"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/test.qwoc.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=965"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/test.qwoc.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/965\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/test.qwoc.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=965"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/test.qwoc.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=965"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/test.qwoc.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=965"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}